Facing Cancer: A Spiritual Journey from Pain to Peace - Visitor's Story

by Meredith McNerney
(Clarksburg, Maryland, USA)

To me, the most important aspect of women's health is a healthy self-image. Please allow me to share my story…It was my 31st birthday and without warning or prior suspicion, I received a phone call that changed my life forever. “You have cancer.” Merkel Cell Carcinoma, in fact. Aggressive. Rare. Deadly. The cancer formed a tumor on my face, of all places, and quick plans were made to destroy the cancer – and my face.

Devastated, I wondered how I would look when this nightmare was over. I crumbled as the surgeon explained how he would literally play a horrific game of connect the dots on my face. In the end, the final picture would be a horrible reminder of having faced cancer. He would start at the site of the tumor and mark 2 centimeters north, south, east, and west along my face to then connect the points and create a circle. Then just like using an ice-cream scooper, he would dig deep to rid my face of this disease.

Suddenly facing cancer was not just about the treatments, the surgeries, the chance of dying, but it was also about me as a woman. Curious to know my fate, I asked the doctor, “What will I look like when this is all over?” “You won’t look like a monster” the surgeon said to me.

A monster. I thought to myself. I never imagined I could look like a monster. Held in tension between thoughts of hope and extreme heartache, I decided to turn to God…and surrender. Quickly, I redefined my beauty and learned to fully embrace my spirit.

Today, with a big scar on my face, the aftermath of cancer has meant more than just accepting my appearance, it has meant that my mission in life has changed and my focus is on spreading a message of hope to people who are hurting. That hope lead me to start an ALL-VOLUNTEER non-profit organization that provides direct financial assistance to families who face the monetary burdens associated with cancer. Our website: www.messageofhopecf.org.

I realized many women no longer felt beautiful while facing cancer, and I wanted to inspire them to fully embrace their beauty by sharing my own struggles from pain to peace. So, I wrote a book, "Facing Cancer: A Spiritual Journey from Pain to Peace." The book’s purpose is to help women focus on their inner beauty. www.facingcancerbook.com

It is my hope that all women will focus on what matters the most...our ability to love, life, and give. There is hope no matter how difficult the circumstances.