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She Couldn't See - Visitor's Poem

by Aryn Nantau
(Lakeshore, Ontario, Canada)

You have everything you want, she told me.
You’re a beautiful blonde Barbie doll
with all the possibilities in the world.
Her eyes were looking straight at me, but she wasn’t seeing.
She wasn’t seeing at all.
She couldn’t see the truth underneath it all.
She couldn’t see a thing.
Maybe I was hoping for clarification through her eyes.
Maybe I wanted someone to see.
Maybe I wanted the truth to be exposed.
Maybe I thought that if she could see me that I could be real.
Her eyes are still watching, closely and intently
And I still cannot believe how blind she is.
Have I become that girl, or was I that girl all along.
There is fog, there is blur,
and piece by piece I am losing something,
Something that maybe was never meant
to be mine in the first place.
I slip away from the world and hide in my shell.
It’s dark in here, but safer then out there.
I have suffered a great loss,
but her words stay close and I hold onto them.
You have everything you want, she told me,
you are a blonde Barbie doll with all the possibilities in the world.
She was looking straight at me, but she wasn’t seeing.
She wasn’t seeing what was so obvious
and clear right in front of her.
And then I turned around and looked in the mirror
and realized I couldn’t see her either.
Maybe she was gone. And it was too late.

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