Trapped In My Tragedy - Visitor's Poem
by Alina Renee Roberts
(Fort Gratiot, Mi, USA)
Trapped. With no light and no air,
I can't see, but I can breathe.
My heart is beating fast.
I don't feel it but I can hear.
It echoes a thousand times louder,
than the beat before,
and then I realize I don't feel a thing,
except my bare feet on the cold floor.
I hear chains as I begin to look around,
but black darkness is all I can see.
I want so bad to blink and be gone,
but these caged walls shadow me.
In a room with no light and no air,
the darkness dragging me down.
I try to scream, my lips are moving,
but there is no sound.
Subtle drops of salt water,
form on the brim of my eyes.
As they collapse to my upper lip,
I think to myself, "I don't want to die".
It's like Im trapped in my own tragedy,
I got myself in but I can't get out.
Chained in this room with no strength,
is proof that I let myself down.
A part of me knows what I need to do,
is reach my hand out and use the key.
But not now, not like this,
because I need to find the strength in me.
I need to know that I deserve this chance,
to set myself free.
I keep telling myself that it will end,
but this is not a dream.
I hear a voice from behind calling my name.
Strikingly familiar. Too familiar.
I try to reply only to be interrupted,
by the voice speaking and getting nearer.
"You have the strength to let yourself go,
just reach out your hand and use the key.
Because in the end when this is over,
forgiven you will be."
The subtle pause between each phrase,
somehow hit a nerve with me.
I know that voice from somewhere,
But where? Who could it be?
Silence filled around my prescence,
and again I felt alone.
Then I realize that the familiar voice,
was the voice of my own.
All the things I was afraid to realize,
are now stabbing me in the heart.
The worst thing about it is I want it to end,
but I'm afraid I don't know where to start.
It feels like the weight of the things I love,
is jumping down on my shoulders.
The ground below me is caving in,
and the life flashing before my eyes is over.
If I give up now then all I am is gone,
and the life I have lived means nothing.
I have the strength to break these chains,
I will. Because to me, my life means something.
The floor beneath me is no longer cold,
and the chains around me disappear.
My eyes slowly begin to open,
but they don't because of this fear.
Fear of opening my eyes to my end,
because what if I didn't win?
But I have overcome my tragedy,
I have escaped my prison.
Free. In a life that has showed me worth,
I will not turn back.
For I am stronger than the person I once was,
the person of my past.
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